TWENTY ONE: 1234 (52 Extremely Rational Reasons Why Your Best Friend Isn’t Here To Pick You Up Yet).


It can’t be because they forgot about you right?

  1. They forgot their phone and didn’t get your text.
  2. They left it in a cab.
  3. They got kicked out from their house and took a nap in their new and very comfortable car.
  4. They’re still taking a nap. 3 hours later.
  5. They’re still aww-ing their new car.
  6. Their significant other still aww-ing their new car.
  7. Their family still aww-ing their new car.
  8. They got lost.
  9. They got “lost”.
  10. Their phone ran out battery and didn’t get your exact location.
  11. But I think they have a charger in their car?
  12. They are just driving around the block.
  13. They are just driving around the block to finish listening to a song they like.
  14. Aliens took their car.
  15. The aliens are actually the Japanese Mafia who are jealous of his/her car.
  16. S/he got forced to go on a “car fast” a.k.a they confiscated their car.
  17. They ran out of gas.
  18. But their car is electrical, just charge it for a few hours?
  19. They are tanning through their panoramic sunroof. Ugh.
  20. They are singing karaoke in their car. I know for a fact the car has, like, an amazing subwafer.
  23. They got lost on their way to the Bahamas, which is, like, whatever cause their car is great on mileage.
  24. Maybe they’re here already?!
  25. Let me text them again.
  26. No, definitely eloping.
  27. Their car broke down.
  28. HA! Impossible, actually.
  29. Or it’s actually my phone?
  30. Is it possible they got into an accident?
  32. Nah, the car has that thingy that will beep if you get too close to another car.
  33. Let me post on their Facebook wall.
  34. Their dog slept in the driver’s seat and they’re currently trying to wake him up. Seat warmer yo.
  35. Wait, their dog died last month right?
  36. Maybe the dog’s ghost is haunting them???
  37. Still no response on Facebook? Maybe they’re in a tunnel and have some connectivity issue. I blame Mark Zuckerberg.
  38. WAIT NO – They have Wi-Fi in their car.
  39. Maybe they’re planning a surprise party for me….
  40. People are utterly amazed by their car so it’s blocking their way.
  41. They are throwing a parade to celebrate their car. And life.
  42. They lost their car keys and can’t drive their car.
  43. The aliens took their car keys and they can’t drive their car.
  44. But they have the car remote thingy from their phone. I remember because I deleted the app the other day. Oops.
  45. S/he is part of an Impossible Missions Force (IMF) team and now in Prague to prevent the theft of the non-official cover (NOC) list from the American embassy. You know, Mission Impossible.
  46. Or maybe they left their phone in the car. I do that all the time.
  47. Somebody (that is not the Japanese Mafia) stole their car.
  48. They have to drop off their aunts and uncles that live at the other part of the town. That’s why they are taking forever.
  49. Errr…. Their car can fit like 10 people.
  50. Their car can talk all of sudden and they’re having a crisis meltdown.
  51. Their car is teaching them life lessons.
  52. NAH, definitely the IMF.

Feist – 1234


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