TWENTY EIGHT: The similarities are evident.


The other day, my co-worker and I created this game where we would “insult” each other with words people don’t usually use to insult others. We would make the angriest face but say, “brownie bites!” or “candy cane!” instead of profanities.

This little game of ours reminded me of the day we talked about simile in class. So without further ado, I present my top 10 list of simile involving Volkswagen’s everyday motoring pleasure:

  • When you ride an Adderall-infused unicorn while eating your mom’s warm, home-cooked meal.
  • When you have a lucky day, times 10 and add .99 at the end.
  • When you drink a non-alcoholic marshmallow rainbow flavored drink while simultaneously being massaged by a Swedish masseur.
  • When you kiss an angel. French style.
  • When you realize that tomorrow is Friday after you got a big raise and promotion at work and being told you have to use your two month’s worth of paid vacation before it got expired.
  • When you’re able to watch your favorite movie/TV show for the first time over and over again.
  • When you snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef a shiver of toothless, vegan sharks serenade you with their shark anthem.
  • When you look for clothes in your closet but find Narnia instead.
  • When Maleficent tells you that you are more attractive than her.
  • When you walk to Mordor.

I’m trying to emphasize the pleasure of owning/driving/associating yourself with the Volkswagen brand. I’m sure you would want all of these.

An Illustrated Attempt – The Similarities Are Evident


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